I have found myself in the torturous position of falling in love with someone who dosent love me, made worse by the closeness of our friendship and a whole years worth of drunkenly sharing a bed. Recently we have decided that keeping things plutonic would be best for the both of us and hopefully we can salvage our friendship. tonight hoewever has been a real test for me as it was clear from early on that he had his eye on someone. In the interest of friendship he asked me if I was ok before he went in for the kill so to speak, and I lied and said I was completley, totally 100% fine and that he should go for it she obv liked him. I know I can't have him but that doesnt mean it doesnt hurt to see him with someone else! I've been drumming it into myself for weeks that we are just friends and that he doesnt love me which is why it actually came as a suprise to me exactly how much it hurt tonight when I seen him with his hand on her waist never mind what it did to me when he kissed her, and in the interest of friendship I stood there pretending to have a good time chatting to someone else.
Ok so lets find the silver lining here, its done and over with now and maybe it wont hurt so much next time, maybe each time it will hurt a little less until I reach the point where I can be happy for my friend and happier with myself. there are lots of good things in my life why should I let one bad thing ruin my enjoyment of the rest of my otherwise content life?
Should you risk our heart for love to find you? the answer is yes but your just gonna have to be prepared to get hurt, its part of the risk.
In the words of Bob Marley
truth is everyone is gonna hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for
