Mikael

this one is a bit of a memorial to a close friend and ex partner who passed away on the 24th January 2011 and to whom I feel priviledged to have know and to have been invited into his life.

It was July 2006 and unusually warm and sunny in Glasgow, I had been single for almost 3 years, got a new job working with kids, lost 2stone in weight and was happily sharing a flat in the west end with an old friend. Looking good and feeling confident in myself I met Mikael, he was tall and dark haired with blue eyes and a proper beard, almost all I could have asked for. Our first date has to be in the running for the worlds longest and best first date ever, lasting a whole 12 hours and I can't remember there being one minute of akward silence the whole time. A walk through the botanic gardens enjoying the sunshine, then discovering that I liked tchai ovna he sugested we go there because his best friend owned it and well he had built the decking; a few hours passed there and then on to a meal, the cinema and chatting in George square follwed by a walk home through kelvingrove park and the gentleman that he was that meant right to my door.
It all seems a sunny haze now but I will never forget that day it's one of those memories you take with you to your grave and always treasure.

We had a relationship that lasted almost 2 years and it wasn't all plain sailing but it has left a lasting mark on me, he never made me feel stupid no matter what silly questions I asked, made me feel cared for and loved and made me feel incredibly safe. Even after we broke up we remained friends and most of these things remained.

He was not without his faults, grumpy, stubborn and well his house keeping was worse than mine but he was also kind, intelligent, supportive, gentle and to me incredibly interesting. He seemed to have a knack for collecting interesting and intelligent people as friends some of which I now call friends to.

It's hard to come to terms with the fact that he is no longer with us and that any email or txt message I send will go unanswered. I can no longer ask him the important but stupid questions that pop into my head or ask his advice on some viking related matter, which as far as I'm concerned he was a near expert on, he was even doing a degree in Viking studies.

Gathered together in tchai ovna, sat on his decking beside his tree I finally met alot of the friends he often talked about but I never had the chance to meet and it dawned on me the lasting impression he had on all of us, that he is irreplacable to more than just me.

He was ill when he died I wish I could have been around more but distance and bad financies conspired to keep me away and well when your in your late twenties you always assume there will be another time or more times to pick up or catch up with old friends.

So for now I grieve for the loss of such a loyal friend who always had time for me talked me through some tough times and was there to hold me up when I didn't have the strength to stand; and eventually the tears and the heartbreak will lessen and instead of tears there will be nothing but smiles and love when I think of him.

So to my grumpy, hairy, viking man Mikael, who I will always carry with me and never forget. xxx

peacful protest, or violent riots?

So as of today, going to university is now going to be almost compeletly identified with accumulation of a stupid amount of debt instead of the wonderful oppertunities it can bring to your life.

No doubt you have seen the reports of the violent protests by students in London today, it appears to me that the violence is the only thing the BBC are telling us about. But there was quite a bit of peacful protest going on and some of the 'violence' could at worst be described as minor anti social behaviour. So a few iconic statues were vandalised, windows smashed a few bonfires lit and grafitti everywhere, these actions are the only way some young people have of getting the attention of adult society.

Some violence did occur and has occured on previous protests but given the amount of people involved in these protests it has been a small proportian who have been involved in the violence. Infact there have been reports of intervention from other young people.

'a group of students, so young as to still be in school uniform, surrounded said van and persuaded the half-hearted and under-equipped would-be attackers to leave the thing alone.

As far as I am aware it is still there with a new gloss of grafitti and various swear words. But it has not been burned.'

this comes from the channel 4 news pages witnessed and written by Alex thomson


It is an age old question, ever since people have began to demonstrate for what they beive in there has been those who feel peaceful protest is the only way to be taken seriously and those who frustration boils over into headline grabbing violence, but who does the most good for the cause? Some belive that peacful protest is to easliy swept under the carpet and ignored by those in power and so the only way to show them how outraged and serious you are is to attack them, or other significant symbols of power, by force.

I'm a fence sitter on this one in so much that i feel that when people become violent it is a loss of control and you lose the upper hand and are portrayed as nothing but a mindless thug, however small acts of anti social behaviour can have a desired affect of letting people know just how annoyed and frustrated you are without causing anyone any physical harm, grafitti being a prime example. By far my favourite act of the day which has been reported was of people throwing christmas baubles full of paint at police, with all there riot gear on its not going to hurt them and its a seasonal variation on eggs.

In the end though the whole process is frustrating because quite clearly peacful or violent, parliment voted to ignore the millions of young people across the country who have stood up and shown there views on tuition fees. those who were old enough to vote and chose the lib dems on there defence of education stance now feel even more betrayed and untrusting of our democratic system.

'The Liberal Democrat U-turn has radicalised them. They tried the parliamentary route. They voted for the Lib Dems on the basis of fees and it achieved nothing. No wonder they're not interested in having Labour do the same thing to them.'
http://www.politics.co.uk/comment/education/comment-eyewitness-at-the-parliament-square-demo-$21386187.htm


So what is the next move, what do you do when you feel powerless and that no one is listening?

Somethings are just hard to do

I have found myself in the torturous position of falling in love with someone who dosent love me, made worse by the closeness of our friendship and a whole years worth of drunkenly sharing a bed. Recently we have decided that keeping things plutonic would be best for the both of us and hopefully we can salvage our friendship. tonight hoewever has been a real test for me as it was clear from early on that he had his eye on someone. In the interest of friendship he asked me if I was ok before he went in for the kill so to speak, and I lied and said I was completley, totally 100% fine and that he should go for it she obv liked him. I know I can't have him but that doesnt mean it doesnt hurt to see him with someone else! I've been drumming it into myself for weeks that we are just friends and that he doesnt love me which is why it actually came as a suprise to me exactly how much it hurt tonight when I seen him with his hand on her waist never mind what it did to me when he kissed her, and in the interest of friendship I stood there pretending to have a good time chatting to someone else.

Ok so lets find the silver lining here, its done and over with now and maybe it wont hurt so much next time, maybe each time it will hurt a little less until I reach the point where I can be happy for my friend and happier with myself. there are lots of good things in my life why should I let one bad thing ruin my enjoyment of the rest of my otherwise content life?

Should you risk our heart for love to find you? the answer is yes but your just gonna have to be prepared to get hurt, its part of the risk.
In the words of Bob Marley
truth is everyone is gonna hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for

http://www.vimeo.com/11527998

We want to encourage young adults who can vote to make sure they get out and exercise that vote. There are 1,765 people born on 7th May 1992 who have missed out on voting by one day. They don't want you to waste your vote. Find out more here may7th1992.com

election day

So here we are again, having to pick the best of a bad bunch, none of whom I have much faith in but someones got to do the job and they are all we have right now. Despite my seeming apathy i did vote. I feel it's immportant to other wise i have no right to judge or complain about any of the changes for better or worse that are to come.

Voting is a right that many in the west no longer see as a luxury but rather a chore, do they fully understand what it would be like if they flat out were not allowed to vote at all?

I'll be holding my breath tonight as the results come in hoping and wishing that the result of anything but tory will appear in front of my eyes, but i fear its going to be a tory government.